Fresh Start

So then, it’s new year and the start of twenty-thirteen or two thousand and thirteen. Whichever way you want it, it’s all fine by me.

Have I got a New Years resolution? Have you?

Ill be honest, there are a variety of different things I’d like to change about myself and my environment and I did decide to wait until January 1st to do it, but that was more to do with picking a convenient date close enough to my decision.

I got a Nike Fuel Band for Christmas, which kind of scared me when I was setting it up & it’s idea of being not very active still entailed burning 2000 calories. Mine, on the other hand is about 1300….. Slight difference of opinion there to begin with.

I’m obviously part sloth then.

Actually, this we already know.

I’m not like movie stars or even people on ‘the biggest loser’ I have to fit exercise & activity along with working, childcare, housework & general living.

Please don’t get me wrong I’m so not doing a fitness/diet/detox after new year thing because the media tells me. There is nothing worse than some extra from Coronation Street telling you how to lose weight and the Daily Mail trying to sell you the latest fad diet.

I hate celery anyway.

If you decide to change things in your life, do it for you, not because Kim Kardashian has lost weight or Josie Gibson looks amazing. (Though our Kim is not likely to be on the weight loss until the end of the year)

Take inspiration from Jessica Ennis, Nicola Adams, Jade Jones and the like, real women who have found something they enjoy doing.

I hope to find something I enjoy doing that will not only keep my body active but my mind also.

Any suggestions are welcome.

One thing leads to another

This saga all began because I read a poem that my very talented brother had written.

I amended a word. No, seriously, thats it, I changed a word, (to be honest I was amazed that I could find something to change, but there you have it). The poem he has written is beautiful, its magical, its deep. It brought to mind a print of a painting that I have, it’s not a famous print like some of the Paul Klee ones I have, but it must have been well known enough for someone, somewhere to do a print.

I love the print. To coin the old proverbial, strokie-bearded, Pimms swilling community of art critics, “it speaks to me”.

No, seriously, it really does. The picture can mean so many different things depending on my mood.

On one hand, I can see a young girl looking towards a bright future, yet, on other days I see a young wife, staring into the ocean wishing for husband to return after being lost at sea.

Anyway while I was explaining this to my brother and digging out the aforementioned print of ‘Girl on a Jetty’ for him to see, I remembered a poem I had learned for school. Before anyone says anything, yes, books were invented at the time. Thank you.

My only issue was that I hadn’t learned that poem quite as well as Hugh MacDiarmid’s ‘The Watergaw’ because I couldn’t remember who wrote it or what it was called.

Thankfully social media worked a treat and I got help to find the missing poem based on a variety of clues that would’ve out foxed everyone apart from Sherlock.

I could only recall that it was a Scottish poem, probably Doric, had something to do with a widow who has lost her husband at sea and the rest if the town give her some food because she has no way to live now. I could remember the phrases ‘mouthing cuithes’ (try to google that without it correcting your spelling) and laid ‘neck on neck’.

So, for all those who wondered what on earth I was talking about, here are the only parts of the poem I have been able to find. You see I can’t find the full poem, which I think is really sad.

It’s by a dude called George Mackay Brown who came from Orkney and is considered one of Scotland’s greatest poets of the 20th Century. Which makes it even more infuriating that I can’t find the full poem on the Internet at all. Anyway, I think it’s glorious, heartbreaking and touching all at the same time, its called ‘Winter Bride’.

I really hope I’m not breaching copyright or some other laws, but I think this painting and poem go very well together.

The three fishermen said to Jess of The Shore
‘A wave took Jock
Between The Kist and The Sneuk.
We couldn’t get him, however we place the boat.
With all that drag and clutch and swell
He has maybe one in a hundred chances’
They left some mouthing cuithes in the door.
She had stood in this threshold, fire and innocence,
A winter bride.
Now she laid off her workaday shawl
She put on the black
(Girl and widow across a drowned wife
Laid wondering neck on neck.)
She took the soundless choir of fish
And a sharp knife

If anyone can find a link to the poem or indeed a copy of the book the poem is in (that is reasonably priced!) please let me know 🙂

Be Afraid…..be very afraid (maybe)

I like to think that I take things in my stride, but really, I don’t. Today I’m anxious, maybe that’s a better word than fear as its not so scary. Which is extremely ironic if you think about it.

Like any good horror or mystery story, I fear the unknown. Though I’m not about to climb mount Everest, abseil down Big Ben or sleep in a tank of spiders, its just as big a deal when you give ‘it’ space to grow.

So, what is ‘it’? Anything that is causing you stress really, in my case ‘it’ is trying a kickboxing class tonight.

I know that there is very little chance I will die, so what is the problem then?

Simply, it is something new. Let’s face it, I’m the wrong side of 40, overweight, have asthma, worried if my hip (old injury) will cause problems, not very fit and scared that I look like a complete turkey.

The punchline is, I have no reason to be scared or anxious, after all, the reason I am going is because I’m unfit, have asthma and want to lose some weight.

I think that it’s ok to be worried, apprehensive or even anxious. What is more important is how I cope with it today and tonight. My plan is to stride on like it’s a normal day, I’ll congratulate myself for trying something new and remember what Muhammad Ali said ‘I hated every minute of training, but I said “Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion” ‘

Wise words indeed, but I’ll buy some painkillers just in case.

As a footnote: I went, I enjoyed it, I’ll go back. It was hard work, I did think at several points that I was going to be sick, however the thought of puking in a room full of men didn’t appeal to me at all! My lungs did keep trying to come out of my body to see what was happening, but my inhaler kept them safely inside my body. 🙂

Nevada, the Place to Be

Up until recently the only things I knew about Nevada included it being quite close to California (it’s right next door), Las Vegas (including Elvis), CSI (yes, the one with Grissom), Reno (Sharon Stone stays there).

Then after the whole Prince Harry episode, I discovered that Nevada is also the only US state where prostitution is legal (in specified areas), it has NO personal income tax, it’s the easiest place to get a divorce and it has the dubious honour of being rated the most dangerous state.

Nice.

Apart from the obvious ‘Harry’ photographs, I’ve found other photographs of wildlife in Nevada. Though, I have to admit that there is a tenuous link somewhere.

Yup, caught out by its own stupidity, a 2 year old mountain lion tried to sneak into a casino in Reno. The dafty cougar couldn’t work out how to use revolving doors so the population of the Casino only had one set of cougars to worry about and that was the 2 legged older human kind.

Sulking in defeat, the big cat skanked off to lie underneath an outdoor stage at nearby plaza, where it was shot full of drugs to render it unconscious so it could be tagged. (I am still talking about the mountain lion by the way).

Little does it know that now it will be helping the University of Nevada study stupid cats.

At least I am able to use photos of the poor guy lying out cold on the ground without fear of being sent to the tower to play with the ravens.

A nice affirmation

I have shamelessly stolen this from Facebook. But it does make sense. I’d love to live this way.

Maybe I should try.

I would imagine that it’s quite hard to be who you really are. See I try so hard to be everything to everyone. I put on whatever face or hat is required at the time. I can be mother, wife, housemaid, corporate spokesperson, artist, journalist, analyst, accountant. You name it.

Maybe that is really me?

Just Because I Want Them

So, yeah, there I am surfing the internet for Puma Trainers like the ones Usain Bolt has. Well, ok, not like the ones he has because they are running spikes, but well you know the ‘punter on the street’ version.

I’ve already said that there is no way on earth I am a gym bunny, even though there is a small part of me that would like to be. Could this desire for a new pair of trainers just be a wave of Olympic fever sweeping over me and encouraging me to get off my arse?

So, it got me thinking, why exactly do I want another pair of trainers?

Will they give me set of abs like Jessica Ennis or Allyson Felix or the ability to swim like a fish, gallop across fields and huge fences like a Dick Turpin on Black Bess and tackle anything in my path? (yes I did watch the Modern Pentathlon….)

Yeah, yeah, I know they won’t. It’s not a ‘thing’ that will make those things happen, it’s a ‘me’.

But that doesn’t make the desire for a pair of Jamaican Pumas any less. If anything it just troubles me that I’m spending so much time over analysing spending my cash on a pair of gutties.

It’s not about trainers though is it? It’s about being encouraged to be the best you can possibly be. So, if anyone wants to encourage me to buy a pair of trainers……. I’m only too happy to listen.

In the meantime I’ll be waiting for the Paralympics for some more inspiration on being all I can be and putting extra effort into my life.

Wonder if any of Team GB have some green and yellow Pumas?

Bite My……Medal?

I’m not really a sporty person. Let’s face it, I’m short, over 40, over weight and asthmatic.

In fact, for some strange reason, the sporting events that would tend to make me want to poke my eyes out with pickled onion forks appear to be all the ones my grandma would watch.

Like for example, football, rugby, golf, snooker, horse racing, athletics……I could go on, but then that’s boring. That’s not to say that there is anything wrong with these sports, it’s just I’ve never found the need to get excited about them.

Then the London Olympics came along.

So far I’ve shouted, screamed, cried and made loud whooping noises at the TV while Team GB have been on. Personally, I blame Danny Boyle.

What I have noticed is how the majority of the athletes when posing for photos with their medals have them in their mouth, pretending to bite them. Why?

We all know they aren’t chocolate. The medals aren’t worth as much as the ones for the Lake Placid Olympics due to the amount of gold in them.

Apparently it’s a journalist/photographer thing, supposedly they ASK the athletes to pose like that. Seriously though, why?

Migraine Madness

I hate waking up with the ‘knowing’ feeling that I’m about to have a migraine.

It fills me with dread and fear, as I’m not sure whether I’m likely to spend the day crying in pain or being sick. I could be numb down one side or have tingling down my arm, I could be finding it hard to see properly with a variety of patterns appearing like a kaleidoscope in front of my eyes. Sometimes, I even feel like I’ve been shot through my right eye and feel the need to hold it, like taking my hands of it will cause me even more pain.

This morning I had that feeling. I had to concentrate very hard to do the most simplest of tasks. Taking the dog for a walk was a major operation, aided only by my canine friend understanding that I wasn’t feeling the best.

Apparently migraines are very common and according to the International Headache Society they can last anywhere from 4 hours to 3 days, which is a long time to suffer that amount of pain.

It’s hard to prevent something when you don’t what causes it. Migraines can be caused by anything from tiredness, stress, perfume, chocolate, artificial light and in some cases lack of stress, as in at a weekend.

Best thing to do, if you get the chance is to take painkillers as quickly as possible. If you miss the 15 minute window then taking anti-sickness medication is the best way forward. Being sick means that the tablets don’t get absorbed into the body.

I find codeine works very well though it does give me a huge ‘hangover’ headache the next day. Apparently Triptans work very well by working on the brain chemistry via serotonin receptors and narrowing blood vessels. However, I can be in so much pain with a migraine that it doesn’t matter to me how it works or what it does, I just want the pain to stop.

Loneliness wont leave me alone

Loneliness is very different from being alone and even although I cant condone the actions of Linda Chase, I can understand them. However, I must say, it does creep me out more than a bit.

When Linda Chase’s friend Charles Zigler died she couldn’t bear the thought of being without him…….so, she kept him.

She says that he passed away around December 2010 while sitting in his armchair in the house he shared with her. Linda spent the last 18 months cleaning his corpse, carrying on with her daily chores and watching NASCAR together.

It wasn’t until Charles’ niece got fed up with failed attempts to see him that she called 911, which led to the discovery of her uncle. Linda said, “It’s just that after so many bad things happen to you…I didn’t want to be alone. He was the only guy who was ever nice to me.”

When questioned about Charles’ social security money, she admitted that she had used it and the police are looking into this, but Linda hasn’t been arrested.

I can understand the over whelming grief and anger at being left by someone you care about, but Im not sure that keeping him sitting in his chair for 18 months is the way forward.

It is sad and tragic that someone was driven to this by the fear of being alone and its not always easy to meet new people or strike up a conversation with them without appearing like some total weirdo.

Though, I do consider it better than keeping a dead body for conversation purposes.

Life, the Universe and Everything

Ive had a strange week.

That is the main reason why I haven’t been blogging.

An event happened that left me questioning a lot of things and I mean a lot. Right, that’s a bit deep and vague, so I’ll explain as best as I can.

Someone I know, respect and think highly off died suddenly. Their death has affected many other people that I care about, hence the title of this blog ‘life, the universe and everything’.

It’s often said, by too many nameless people, that there isn’t a handbook for life. There isn’t any guidelines for what is the right and what is the the wrong course of action to take. What happens when you don’t even know which path to take, never mind whether it is right or wrong?

Well, just have to muddle on and start every sentence with ‘I’m really sorry but I don’t know what to say’. So, that’s what I’ve done, but the truth is, I actually don’t know what to say.

If anyone knows what is etiquette to say to people who have witnessed the sudden death of a colleague at work, then please let me know.

In the meantime, I’m going to carry on assessing what is important in my life and what isn’t.

I know that my family and friends are important, but where can you draw the line between teaching your child what is right and wrong, educating them, playing games with them and bringing in money?

We need money to live on, to keep a roof over our head and food in our stomach. Where is the balance?

I’m not sure I know. I’ll just keep muddling on until it’s obvious I’m doing a good job or a bad job suppose. After all, not all who wander are lost, they are maybe trying to find what path works for them.